APPROVED COSTUMES FOR THE WHITE HOUSE HALLOWEEN PARTY

MEMORANDUM FOR ALL WHITE HOUSE STAFF

FROM: CHIEF OF STAFF SUSIE WILES

SUBJECT: APPROVED COSTUMES FOR WHITE HOUSE HALLOWEEN PARTY

With the annual White House Halloween party just around the corner we thought it prudent to issue some helpful guidelines regarding appropriate costumes for this year’s event. 

While President Trump wants everyone to have a good time and is all about creating an atmosphere of whimsical, lighthearted fun and encouraging creative expression, he also wishes to remind staff that there are PROTOCOLS that must be followed when selecting a costume. Following is a list of APPROVED disguises: 

- Naughty Stephen Miller (Sexy, amirite?)

- OLD Cracker Barrel mascot (The way it was MEANT TO BE)

- Post-hammer Paul Pelosi (See above)

- Hillary’s emails (Scary!)

- Blackface Michelle Obama (A timeless tradition and definitely NOT racist)

- Village People (So fun and not gay at all!)

- Slutty Jan. 6 protester (Is it getting hot in here?)

- Antifa (AT YOUR OWN RISK, ha-ha!)

- School shooter (Dealer's choice)

- Hunter Biden's laptop (So spooky, I'm getting goosebumps)

- Jailbird James Comey (Coming soon!)

- KKK Imperial Wizard (Almost too easy, since many of us already have the hoods and robes)

- Sexy Putin (How do you say, "Take off Your Pants" in Russian?)

- ICE agent arresting a Mexican farm worker (Adorbs couple’s costume)

Please note that any WOKE or DEI costumes will not be tolerated and will result in IMMEDIATE TERMINATION. For example, you may NOT dress as any of the following:

- Dudes in dresses (Eeeeeewwww)

- Broads in combat (Ditto)

- Bearded G.I. Joe (Definitely a terrorist)

- Fat generals (A disgrace to the trim physique of our svelte and absolutely NOT obese POTUS)

- Non-white person or woman in any high-ranking position (note Blackface exception above)

- Paper straw (Fuck you for even considering that)

- Anything that does not reflect your BIOLOGICAL GENDER FROM BIRTH (goes without saying)

- Canadians (Also terrorists)