THE RANDOM TABLE

15 Long Overdue Terms for Female Masturbation

Spanking the monkey. Choking the chicken. Beating the bishop. For decades, it has pissed me off that there are so many colorful and...

The Eye-Roller’s Guide to the 2022 Wine Enthusiast Holiday Catalog

Inspired by Drew Magary’s hilarious series, “The Hater’s Guide to the Williams-Sonoma Catalog” [My assistant, Allistair, opens the heavy...

Colonoscopy Prep Cocktails are Explosively Delicious

Anyone who has had a colonoscopy can tell you that the worst part of the experience isn't having a 4-foot-long camera tube snaked into...

TINA CAPUTO